frankly speaking

i've had a bit of a whirlwind past several weeks - applying for a new crazy job, getting hired 3 weeks later, quitting my current job, just about finished my final days there, purchasing furniture for my new residence (avoiding maxed out credit), laughing, stressing, being a friend, having friends be awesome friends, supportive family, closure, starting new chapters, leaving my car behind for city life, challenging myself, going to concerts on work nights, inspired by song, inspired by people, inspiring myself, open, honest, real. Never a bad time to risk everything and just follow your heart or whatever crazy instinct that drives.

Props to a new voice in my ear- Frank Turner, saw twice in the past week with Lucero and Social D.  I love bands that thrive from touring.  What a thrill, to travel the country the majority of the year, meet other people psyched about music, and drink and be merry as one big happy rockin' family.  I've had a real ball, and notice my music addiction will be far from starving in the city.

Here's some new Frank Turner favorites to share







"i won't sit down,
and i won't shut up,
but most of all i will not grow up"  Frank Turner

shared work philosophy

Thank you MTTS, you make me feel like we were separated at birth!

 

unbeweavable

Channel surfing at strange hours leads to 4 things - softcore porn, infomercials (can be porn-influenced too), texas hold-em tourneys, and antiques roadshow.

                                    Hairy Acorns!

Biggest surprise of all my selections -> Who would have thought antiques roadshow would completely make me question my consciousness.  What's this, JEWELRY MADE OUT OF HUMAN HAIR? No joke. Those buttoned-boot-petticoat-wearing high class 19th century fashionistas rocked locks like gangsta rappers rock platinum.  You've got your selection of broaches, hairpins, lockets, crowns, & earrings all delicately designed with human hair!  I found one website that sells antique hairy accessories and DUH- scented handmade bath soaps! Perfect pairing & Perfect for shared showers: no longer will you panic about whose black'n'curly is stuck on your bar-o-soap when you've got a fresh pube-infused bar of soap! Yikes.

Hairy Patterns

These small statement pieces completely confirmed previous notions that all hairy fetishes were developed in the mid 1800's. Thanks PBS, once again you've taught me something i'll never forget.

buttcrackview mirror

on my 3:30 lunch break this afternoon i decided to run to the bank in the local strip mall and deposit my dough.   Walking out to my car i notice a big pimpin' sedan parked next to mine with 2 big dudes that looked like football players who both stopped their conversation to look in my direction.....prolly cuz i dropped my keys and my wallet popped open and things went flying and in an annoyed tone i moaned "fuuuuuuuck."  as i finished picking up all my goods i stood up to find the same 2 dudes in their red car sitting and staring.......something polkadotted hanging from their rearview mirror and without really thinking and having a sudden realization -

I blurted to them  "hey guys nice panties!" 
to which they replied,  "yeah you too!"

I was more baffled why they had this big ole polkadotted thong sprawled across their rearview mirror, by brain was firing in such a tangent of the long list of reasons why dudes would have a pair of women's underwear it wasn't until i sat into my car, had to make sure my sundress wasn't gonna get stuck in the car door, and then i realized that as i was bending over to pick up the insides of my wallet, my dress totally blew up over my butt.  Unfortunately there was nothing cute about my underwear today and i appologize for the public viewing of that go-to standby comfy pair of underwear you wear when the rest of your skivvies are either in the wash or need to get washed.

i appreciate a good laugh at my expense every now and then

moving

I'm moving next month and by next month i mean next week and I just found out today it was final. I am stoked.  I'm moving into this big house with 2 friends and 3 dogs (and hopefully not a cat) and i don't have a job lined up yet, so i have to keep my current job until i find something else that pays the bills.  It's gonna be really crazy and really stressful, but I really cannot wait for the challenge of making ends meet & having 3 dogs and 2 roommates i don't hate and my own space and the chance to feel like i'm finally moving somewhere that's always been more of a home to me than anywhere else.

Old Friends - New Fun

This past Sunday started out kinda bummer, then i remembered i was invited to my friend Timmy's new house in the Ocean State for a cd swap/pot luck dinner party with all his super nice hippie musician friends.

I showed up early to hang out, help cut squid, shrimp, and scallops, herbs and stuff to go into a fresh seafood salad and also help drink some of the beer i brought.  It was fun to hang out and get bossed around prepping food for Tim - who is quite the skilled chef - i always enjoy cooking or watching him cook because i always learn something new about food or cooking or the proper way to cut raw seafood that i wouldn't normally touch with a 10-foot pole.

Tim and I don't get to hang out all that much anymore because he's always busy and i'm always busy and the fact he lives in another state doesn't make it that much easier to hang out on a whim.....  i met a bunch of his friends and when people were like "how do you know Him?"  Tim reminded me that we first met when we were 4 playing on our first teeball and soccer teams together and were lucky enough to have gone to the same high school together. I'm trying to find an old picture of this time in history - might take a couple days to locate

Kudos to Timmy and his friends for the fun night, good food and good times.

Dr. Dre

last minute i had to make my weekend a long weekend. why? well, mostly because i needed a day off for illness and more importantly mostly is that i need a new place to live.  So me and my 2 future roommates went apartment hunting and it was crazy!  We saw 8 apartments, the majority of which were occupied by sleeping tenants (what breed of loser is still sleeping at 11am on a hot summer day!?!? ) - these tenants were all dirty. I'm no neat freak, my 2 future roommates are a little on the OCD side than myself - but for me to be the first to mention that a place is a dump, it had to have been pretty goddamn awful.  One of our top choices (even though it was a pretty disturbingly messy place, mostly because they had animals) was probably the most memorable part of the whole excursion; this house had one big angry dog locked in a bedroom and this other cute little pup walking around freely.  This little pup didn't bark, he sat without a command and also gave paw. SO CUTE!  He was so psyched to see 4 people who loved dogs he must have sensed our love. At one point Meghan leaned over and was like "oh he has tags i wonder what your name is little buddy............Dr. DRE!!"  Why yes, our new puppy friend was indeed named Dr. Dre. We know where he lives and we are contemplating rescuing him from his dirty degenerate owners and making him our newest 4-legged roommate. 

we saw 8 apartments, had 3 agents, spent 8.5 hours roundtrip and what did we decide?  Well we put a bid on the very first apartment we saw and now we're waiting to see if we can lowball the landlord a little to get the rent a little less outrageous........we're all pretty psyched about the big move 3 ladies, 3 glorious pets, 2 huuuuuuuge parks nearby.......starbucks......wholefoods, bicycles, dirty water etc.

rosey cheeks

today's local newspaper and online forecasts didn't really make it seem like it was gonna be a perfect beach day, but it was.  Amazingly, a big group of friends managed to wake up at otherwise unreasonable weekend hours (after spending a late late night out before), all ready to get on the road and trek to the Ocean State. 2-4 carloads later, we were a large group occupying a sizable plot of sand. We had fun digging huge holes and turning men into mermaids, some annoying kids to ignore, a few fat stingy jellyfish to dodge, not too many beers, and plenty of good laughs. We didn't see any speedos today, but we did see 2 very fit men wearing spandex booty shorts as swim trunks.  I'm still wondering when the States are gonna really jump into the whole speedo scene. It makes the beach that more magical. And i'm being serious about this, speedo love is no joke.

In this perfect weather, i think 90% of us now have at least one lobster-like burn on our bodies. Valerie wins the burn award with a killer buttcheek/hamstring splotchy burn pattern. She wouldn't let me take a picture before she drove back to boston, i really wanted to post it up here - she knew that - and i'm pretty much sure that's why she said "no - this will not be posted on your blog." RayRay came in a close 2nd place with a killer chest burn. We all got a little sun roasty today, and

We missed Scott and Mark and their usual beach crew due to the unfortunate news that Scoot broke a bunch of toes/or his foot? and he is on crutches from a scuffle with a series of large waves from the day before. Hope for a quick recovery buddy, we missed the extreme ladderball opportunities and the tide reports today!

Beach daze

It's hot y'all. Yesterday a group of friends who don't work on the
weekends (sorry k) and myself, went to an overpopulated RI beach for
something close to 8 hours. The waves were mighty, the rocks were
sharp, the sand was scorching, the beach was packed like sardines, and
it was awesome!

being hot as balls isn't so bad

So if you haven't noticed, Summer is in full effect everywhere above planet Earth's belt. It's been wicked sweaty and i love it!  Every year i start my summer off celebrating my birthday, which really is the best time of year to have a birthday, i think it's only rained twice my entire life so far, i've never had to so to school on my birthday AND since being working adult-ish age, i have never worked on my birthday.

i was really looking forward to another southern road trip to Corndog-O-Rama, but the dude who ran the whole event decided to call it quits after 13 years.  I guess it's pretty cool to say that i attended the very last festival, but i hope he really changes his mind and brings back one of the funnest weekends to date.

We kept my birthday festivities sleazy this year, unfortunately one night everyone wanted to buy me a drink to celebrate and i ended up puking my face off into a little garbage can thankfully within a headroll to my bed. I had a bunch of dinners out and a poolside BBQ and lots of friendly messages and cards from friends and family. Minus the barfing and my dad flaking out on birthday lunch plans, i guess it really was a fun birthday week for me.  I am looking forward to an upcoming roadtrip to somewhere i've only flown over!!!! This will be my random international travel party!!!


i need to get a new camera, my shitty busted iPhone camera can only do so much these days, and lately not having a zoom function has taken some humor out of my hot little hands.  I will catch up soon.

summer, officially

I was about several dozen miles deep on the Mass pike on my very early Monday morning commute to Connecticut listening to NPR, thinking it was a rerun broadcast, but it was actually live.  I was in my normal driving space-out conscious driving daydream when something caught my attention.  The announcer said, it is now 7:24am, in exactly 2 minutes summer will officially begin."  Here i am, sunny new england, windows down, driving slighty too fast and i thought, "huh, here i am watching it turn into summer at this very moment."  It was already 76 degrees in Boston when i left a little after 6am.  Ahh Summer........

I had a great weekend with friends, visiting a new beach, eating buffalo chicken pizza (and pesto pizza too), dancing in humid weather to  until the wee hours of the morning,  going out in a group for breakfast.....driving back to CT to find out i scored free tix to the Redsox/Dodgers game and then driving back to Boston to spend a beautiful evening in the Fenway bleachers surrounded by people psyched about drinking beers, eating franks, throwing peanut shells everywhere and chanting encouragements to the local team. i love that place, even when i'm exhausted and pining for more FIFA World Cup action. It's one of a kind.

signs signs, everywhere signs

After a failed attempt to go night swimming , i decided i'd try to get into writing more nonsense.  I've been writing lately, but on paper, and then the stuff i share has been in letter format to specific destinations.  But tonight, writing means posting pictures of signs and graffiti and random things i see here and there. Why?  Random things that catch my eye - i can't explain it - it just ends up as a crappy image on my battered iPhone posted on here.  Like great finds on awesome t-shirts at the thrift store, i can't pass up bathroom humor, anything that has to do with sex, science, or anatomy, and of course grammatical errors.....

zoomed

glued to the tele: COPA MUNDIAL de futbol

If anyone knows anything about me, it's that i've always had this insane love for soccer, specifically World Cup soccer. Every 4 years i get to spend several hours every couple days (for about a month) watching the best athletes in the world get all serious and sweaty over the world's favorite sport.

There's personal drama, team drama, fan drama, and it's great to see an eclectic selection of countries duke out bragging rights for the next 4 years.  I like the competition, camaraderie, patriotism, and the intense 90 minutes of non-stop running and fancy footwork.  It's overwhelming, and that's why i find myself drawn to the television.......next game is this afternoon 2:30pm eastern standard time. Australia vs. Germany - should be a really physical game, both countries breed big beefy-sexy soccer players.  PSYCHED!

A lot of people will ask me, 'why don't you root for the United States?'  When i first became attached to the world cup, the United States were not contenders, it was towards the tail-end of their 40-year drought. My first World Cup team i followed was Italy, partly because of my heritage and partly because they've always been outstanding on the field.  I still continue to root for Italy to this day.  Some may say i am not patriotic, and should be rooting for my own country, which i am, it's hard for me to pick favorites because i love the game so much, i sincerely wish every team the best.......but when it comes to Italy, i then will be fanatical.

This is my favorite soccer player of all time Roberto Baggio (i actually still have a replica of his jersey as well as the same soccer ball in this picture)

take-out food with your family

sometimes we all get lazy and decide take-out is an amazing idea.  for example we decided last minute on friday, that on saturday afternoon all my extended family was going to crash my grandparent's house and we would buy $125 worth of take-out chinese food (soooo much food) and buy a few cases of local microbrewery beers and celebrate life.  It was great because everyone could just hang out and chat and not worry about whether the bird is undercooked or if Grammy left the cake in the freezer.  That's a family gathering i wouldn't mind having at every family gathering, and then i would substitute home-cooked Polish food for the chinese food and maybe have some more of the cross-country/international cousins attend.  I miss those kids!

Now that everyone is all grown up, moved, not moved, married, reproduced, it's nice to get together every once in a while and still have that youthful bond and share memories of countless summers spent together at the family beach front cottages, laughing, playing, taunting, scheming, sunburning, jellyfishin, and loving every minute of the one, the only........ Point-O-Woods beach.    RIP cottages!

hunk-o-burnin-love and FRESH POTS!!

Dear Dave,
Let's make hypertensive love children.  You can teach me drums and i can teach you about Keurig.

xoxo, me

grape leaves/good'n'plenty

This weekend was chock-filled with celebration! The main event was obviously my friends' (Matt & Abbey) wedding on Friday. It was great to see some friends i haven't seen in a while and then some of the regulars who always know how to have a good time at parties!  We were all dressed up fancy and we danced the night away in our super uncomfortable dressy shoes!!

The next morning we woke up to another beautiful Springy day.....and realize, well, we're never to old to have an "after the after partyafter party," trash a hotel room, have a coed sleepover party, giggle incessantly, and demand pizza be delivered in a timely fashion in the wee hours of the morning.  (that pizza saved my life).
 
Saturday i thought was gonna be low key, we all felt old and exhausted from the crazy fun we had the night before.....but we rallied and managed to have a wild night locally: celebrating Courtney & Junior's pre-birthdays in style.

Today i was super busy once i finally came to.  My mom and I ventured to the sticks to visit a greenhouse and we bought a bunch of really neat things we're gonna try to grow this summer, besides the usual 23489 species of tomatoes.  We then hit up some markets and I decided i wanted to cook all afternoon. So i made calzones and pizza and this elaborate pasta salad thing and then i hit a sleepy brick wall which brings me here.....psyched for summer and seeing more friends, road trips, eating fresh produce & seafood, reading books on my deteriorating 1970's chaise lounge on the patio, and missing way too much work for social obligations.

Free tickets

Had an unexpected invite to a concert the other day, surprised this
place was so packed with thousands of people who still think Eddie
Vedder is the cheddar. After all these years I still don't get the
attraction. Before the show we attended this preparty business in some
froofie CT Valley suburb and I had my first grilled hotdog of the
season, ate a tastey tortellini/broccoli salad and sampled some
expensive scotch that tasted like musty fire.

Gritty kitty

Dear Baby Cat. Thanks for the hives and the poop that I got to clean
out of your poo box while I stayed at the house. Despite your pocket
size and crazy energy, Your sibling, the family dog Is still my
favorite. Thanks.

haulin' oats

This past hurricane season while in transit to Logan Airport for our yearly estrogen group getaway, Miss Valerie and myself took notice to the fact that 2 years in a row on our way out of Boston, Hall and Oats songs were always on the radio on our cab ride to the airport, thus, the songs i sing incessantly until something grabs my attention in another country.....whether it was Private Eye, Maneater, Kiss on my list....i sing it at any conversation lull, inappropriate moment, whathaveyou.   At one pivotal moment Val, was like "Jeeeeeeze what is it with all the Haulin' Oats songs... they're so damn catchy".......I was like "who?" Haulin' Oats? Like Carrying sacks of Oats? Megs and I were like No NO No Val, It's Hall AND Oats!  I don't know why i just thought of that and why it made me laugh out loud, for serious.  I like when people think something is named or said something completely incorrect, it's hilarious when people are completely baffled at something they always thought true, but really just completely misinformed.  And it's always great to ask your friend what their favorite "Haulin' Oats" song is...




Oh man, who am I kidding there are too many hall and oats songs, can't pick just one!

t-shirts i love

i love t-shirs that make me smile from ear to ear.  i just found this one in a gigantic pile of recently laundered clothes and totally forgot i had it.....

May Day

Off to Boston/Somerville/Cambridge for the weekend.  There's a wide variety of events in the next 48 hours and i'm about to hit em all up!   if you're in the City too..... try to at least hit up some of the Somerville Open studios, especially the ones on Newton street.  Word.






Dear Tourists,

The T takes a little practice, but it's not rocket science. You step on when the correct color/letter arrives AND then you step off when you hear or see the correct stop.  No analytical skills required.  Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall is the easiest place to get to.  Follow the swarms of awkward people holding cameras, fanny packs, bulging backpacks, and maps and other people looking overly excited while saying "Quincy Market."  You will then be overwhelmed with fellow tourists, a clusterfuck of cafeteria food masking itself as quality, and marked up retail items you can easily find in your hometown's shopping mall. 

Thanks,
Former/future resident

mixtape-ery

I've been absent from a lot of things lately, here included.  I haven't really felt like sharing much, even the super fun stuff, i've just been kinda quiet about anything nice (which in hindsight is waaaay stupid).  I've been thinking long and hard about a new job, relocating residences, new ways to channel creative energy, channeling stressors, limiting easy toxic tendencies (environments, people, food, behavior), and just trying to realistically keep myself in check for the gigantic short/long term goals i have set - one biggie ---> trying to have "subtle" and  "change" coexist.  Shortening run-on sentences is up there on that list of things to tidy.


biggest happy news is that i'm totally an auntie - well my sister didn't have a baby, but my cousin and his wife did 10 days ago and i think it's less awkward to say i'm an aunt rather than 2nd cousin or whatever, and they live like 2 minutes away so i'll be stealing that baby regularly....She's absolutely amazing and has the cutest strawberry blond hair!  Here's a pic with Baby Sharon and my Mom, Great Auntie Marcia:

side note:
i've felt like High Fidelity John Cusack lately - not the "pining after ex-lovers" John Cusack - more the "let's make a mix tape for various moods, scenarios, and people" John Cusack.  I've grown up with constant music playing in the background of pretty much every activity and event.  My living quarters and office space have list remnants everywhere, i'm very excited to FINALLY be blessed with my very own ODC-like tendency.*  Being neurotic seems so much more interesting than just being plain ole forgetful falco.  Hopefully more neurosis will appear as i tastefully age....


*i realize my recent behavior falls short of mental illness, it is a mere hobby used primarily to entertain myself while performing menial medical tasks at work and not getting myself so disappointed about making "medical jokes" and coining my own terms for ailments and diseases and no one in the room getting it but me. I'm all about the word play and my coworkers don't even appreciate the creativity.  Jerks!

i don't think so annie

stumbled upon this one.....serious flashbacks

from mine to yours

happy easter

turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes.

Last week, random impulse decision to remove all pigment from my hair and then chop about half of my existing length off.  It was a stressful and grueling process, but i absolutely love how it turned out.  I think my hair stylist is a little ticked off at my initial reaction....but i'm trying to figure out a way to let her know how awesome it came out - the cut and the color - and thanking her for pulling it all off.

Thanks Amiee- you rock!

random reunification!

this past weekend i went for my quarterly locks chopping to my favorite overpriced boston salon that has been taming my mane for almost 10 years now....crazy how time flies. So i went there with 2 last minute ideas. First, to chop off at least 4 inches of hair. Second, to be a little more blond to kinda get rid of my blah winter shade of a poopie ash blond.  While showing a few pictures of possible hairstyles to my stylist, we randomly decided that we were going to take a huge leap and dye my hair super double processed platinum blond.....professionally one of the hardest tasks to pull off successfully....it was shocking. I haven't been this blond since i was 12, it's kinda awesome, even more awesome that people walk by me and either do a double take or completely don't recognize me at all.....the best part is that the color and cut totally suits me.  Yay for chemicals and skilled noggin artists!

My favorite part of the weekend???? So i was out dancing at some silly "exclusive" nightclub in Boston saturday night and this place was wicked packed......all of a sudden this dude walks right past me and i literally scream HOLY SHIT! and then jump on him and squeeze the crap outta him....TOTALLY MY BEST FRIEND and neighbor across the street FROM 1st through 5th grade!!! I almost shead one of those 'tears of joy' things you see on hallmark commercials.

We were inseparable as kids and i was pretty devastated when he moved away right before middle school..... here's a few pictures from the 80's and then one from the other night.....we totally look the same! well, kinda

we're still wicked adorable with our dimples :)

  

A.G + M.F.  = FRIENDS 4-eva

what's in store?

If i were going to do a projected vague introspective photo essay it would look like this:

Shingles 101: How to deal with random wack viruses

1. Prescription Drugs.  If your doctor is kind, they will give you pain meds in addition to a lovely cocktail they traditionally prescribe.  All 3 meds have positive and negative attributes. Take them all, especially the pain killers, they kind of help, well, they make your brain all fuzzy and then you don't seem to care that your neurological pattern rash is quite possibly the most annoying pain you've ever had because it doesn't really make sense why a small train of red dots makes your head, neck and chest hurt. 

2. Find yourself a favorite bag of candy from your youth, call your mom and have her go find that specific brand of candy and bring them to you. Open it immediately and leave it on your nightstand for future snacking.  Make sure there's a reserve supply.

3. Have a whole list of fun things planned out for the weekend.  Let everyone know that you will not be available for anything besides texts, sympathy baked goods/take-out food, and stories that will make you wish you were born after someone in chemistry class figured out you could make a chicken pox/shingles vaccine.

4. Vintage Table Lamp.  Chances are you'll be up in the wee hours of the morning either needing a fresh glass of cold water to wash down more meds, needing to use the toilet, or just wandering aimlessly in narcofantasy land. Night lights are key, especially if you remember there's one right by your head and even better if you remember to turn it on if you need to get out of bed.

5. Swearing. Brush up on some of your best colorful and tasteless descriptive vocabulary.

5. DVD's.  Pull out all the ones that make you laugh really hard and the one cheesy 80's one that you never get sick of watching......works well if you A. own too many hilarious dvds; B. have a lot of staple movies from the 80's and; C. have a 17" laptop that is basically your siamese twin.

6.  Medical Terminology. A lot of people don't know what you've got and they kinda think you might have something like an syphilis or scabies because it sounds a little like both if you're not really paying attention.  Assure them you don't have bugs or STD's. You may even question whether you actually have both, but it's pretty standard medicinal reaction when you are prescribed Prednisone (a steroid that makes you feel wired and nutty), Valtrex (comercially it's used to suppress genital herpes, but is also used for various viral conditions), and Vicodin (narcotics tend to make a lot people itchy).  Lucky you, it's just shingles!

7. Leak-proof BPA-free waterbottle.  There are times when you physically don't wanna move because it either hurts, or afraid you'll never be comfortable again or you're just drugged out of your mind But you still gotta drink the H2O! Perfect solution.

8. Sense of Humor.  Laughter makes a lot of things better, i would say it makes EVERYTHING better, but i know there are some instances you can't really laugh your way out of. The nice thing about shingles is that it's temporary, and even though you can get it again in the future, it's not like it's something you can't tell people about and have them think of you differently (a-la scabies and syphilis)

mug love

Today marks the first beauteous day of the year.  75 degrees in my hometown.   Unfortunately it also marks my first ever run-in with shingles. 

I'm not talkin about no roofs or shitty meat you eat, i'm talkin' good ole varicella/zoster virus sayin hello after a dormant 26-year stay in my body. Also known as random painful old people chicken-pox-ish nerve pattern rash. And it's like pain - straight up weird ass pain. I thought i had swollen glands behind my ear, like i had mono or some tonsil thing going on ....... I had one of my doctor bosses check me out cause i was like "this is the weirdest swollen gland pain ever!"  Doctor boss was like - "you lucked out darling, It's shingles!"  Total shock on my end.  Really? So weird.  I made the mistake of googling pictures of shingles and they only show extreme cases of blistery bumpy rashes and people having bells palsy and lazy eyes and rotting skin.  If you like weird medical pictures, check it out - totally worst-case scenario wild!

Oh wait, back to something nice -  So i was at work this morning and my coworker was going to the keurig machine to reload on coffee and offered to grab me one......i go and pick up my coffee mug off my desk, i wasn't sure if i had washed it before going home yesterday, so i peered into the pretty blue mug and guess what i found..........A HEART SHAPED COFFEE STAIN!       fo'real

"wow this is the best, this totally rocks my socks!"  I ran around my office so stoked to show anyone i could find, it was like the most random romantic thing to ever happen to me.  And then i got shingles. But hey, i'm still smiling about that coffee stain - that was amazing and made me feel kinda cheesy inside.

Not Irish

I'm as Irish as my green pumps from the ATL ghettofabulous mall -
which is apparently even more irish than myself

However, I had fun yesterday eating a super boiled/salty lunch with Joni and Yari at the Trolley and then even more fun out with some crazy irish folks at Wood'N'Tap.  Now if there was a day for Italian or Polish or Lithuanian peeps like myself..........that would really be a good time......

Crabby patties

 

 How to combat crabbiness? Crab Cakes.  It's a new school of thought; eating what you feel. Today i was wicked crabby and i ordered crabcakes from the brewery and then i was in a much better mood, giggling and not wanting to punch people in the face.  I recommend this dish to anyone who works with shitty people, it really gives you perspective. Saying that, i'd like to present a new math equation solution that will warrant a prize for solving correctly and/or creatively.  CALLING ALL MATH NERDS.....(this week is unofficially dubbed mathematical)   OK, here it is,  now go start your eqation and go solve it


 your eqation --->    |crab cakes|

slice-o-pi

It's Pi day!  What does that mean?  Really no significance, besides being a useful tool for finding the area of a circular object if you know the radius or diameter of that specific object......yeah other than that....strictly high school geometry  (unless you're a super math nerd, which i do give props to for your endless commitment to solving problems that have already been solved and your constant need to feel like you've accomplished something brilliant, but really you're just doing something that has already been done, and the fact that you really haven't solved some great extra tricky equation that no one else has, beyond giving you a pat on the back for something that has little cultural significance, you are still uninteresting and unimpressive to me - mathematically speaking for the most part).

My judging, less competent, number crunching brain capacity does appreciate math humor. And yes math nerds, i get your number jokes more than you think i do.....just because my degree is pseudo scientific doesn't mean i don't gots brains.  Don't gotta be a mathhole!

Don't leave home without it...

Hi.  Have we met? Here's another random list of facts. Pay attention.

How to spoil a Friday night

1. Arrive 30 minutes late to your departure meeting spot. Do not let anyone know you're going to be late, the main reason why you do not inform your friends is that you do not even realize how late you really are is because you worked late obnoxiously long week, had to go home, shower, and find something clean and slightly more feminine than a ratty open-neck "Coke is it" t-shirt that may or may not be clean. Once you realize the jeans you wore out last weekend are not where they should be you remember where they are and hope they aren't rolled up in a ball, because that's exactly how you left them last weekend after a night out. Opt for a new outfit, make sure it's unflattering.

2. Because you were late there will not be enough time to go out to dinner in the city.  You opt for truck stop meal, which really isn't all that bad, everyone likes mc nuggets.

3. Of course you need to put gas in your car! Remember? You totally were running late you forgot to get gas before you picked your friends up. Luckily truck stops have gas pumps. Have your friends hit up Micky D's while you fuel the car!  Your friends are out of sight you start to panic when you can't find your gas card, then you can't find your wallet in your purse. Oh yeah a messenger bag in the trunk! Your wallet is not in there either. Where is your wallet? 50 miles away on the kitchen table. Fuck.

4. Break the news to your friends. By the way, you can't even attempt to go out in the city because you need a photo ID (in the wallet that is not with you) to get into everywhere you made plans to go. And then follow that up with, "so hey, can i borrow a couple bucks for gas?"

5. Apolgize for the obvious reasons.  And then take slack for all the little things that were definitely not going to happen that night.  Offer your services & offer to liquor your friends up.  Repeat that you are an asshole, because you are. Feel like scum of the earth for the rest of the night and maybe a little bit into today....

6. Drive another 50 miles back to grab your goddamn wallet. Refuel your own gas tank!

7. Resort to a new location for Friday night festivities that is highly inferior to original plan. Make sure you  have to pay $10 per person to get in the door. Why? There is a cover band of music you don't like.  Order drinks in multiples of 3. Then order more and so on. There will be no cute guys to talk to.  Make sure your friends get nice and wasted and you stay sober so you can drive them home when the dive closes.

8. Fog and rain must be present for the commute home, as well as following the slowest of slow cars the entire dangerous 15 mile strip you can barely safely pass in clear daylight.

9.Go home hungry and wide awake. Those 4 chicken nuggets and that one giant energy drink you had 5 hours before really never made up for that dinner you should have had in that city you were just about in for that night that got ruined by you.  Remember?

10. Don't ever do that again!

Boing-Boing-Boing.....is that SPRING?

Is spring really approaching?   I'll throw a "hell yeah" out there for y'all and some relative observations:

1. Dairy Queen is Open!
2. March Madness
3. Cadbury Creme Eggs
4. New J Crew bathing suit selections
5. Everything is frisky
6. Pining for my tax return
7. Patio parties
8. Random Sneeze attacks
9. More Cadbury Creme Eggs
10. Angry bees

Sun is shining
2 thumbs up

From beard to chops

So i get this phone call at work last week and it's my friend James, he's like "i know you're not feeling so well, but i really need you to stop by and help me out with something after work, i need your help please please, please."  I was a little concerned that something serious was wrong, come to find out he needed help with his beard project, actually it's a st. patty's day chop project. You see - James is wicked irish and st. patty's day is a big thing in his family of many crazy irish folk.  He looks straight outta the guinness/jameson factory irish. So funny.

James is a seasoned beard grower who recently shaved off his impressive beard, succumbing to peer pressure of people who cannot appreciate the aesthetics of a stellar beard.  I was disappointed he caved, but i do understand it gets itchy and you have to trim it up and pick food out of it....but still....it's a rare natural talent worth sharing, and i continue to tell all my beard-capable male friends this and encourage beard growth.  People who don't appreciate beards (usually men with "beard envy," or women with horrible sense of class and style) often use many hurtful slang words and try to use their negative energy to discourage beard growth.  I have a zero tolerance policy for these type of people, despite not completely knowing what that means in this instance.

They're gonna be ridiculous in 3 weeks and i think that's Mc-awesome!!