Swine time for all!!

my coworker loves to support my causes, it's good to have people like that, it makes work and times like these that much more fun!

So here's the skinny, instead of my usual get annoyed with dumb people in panic mode for no apparent reason, i figure i'd exercise my giggling skills and giggle at stupidity and counteract it with something even more stupid. I'm not gonna lie, my reaction is completely spiteful. . . . . but seriously? it's not like we're under nuclear attack, and i'm sure there are dozens of more important things for the media and everyone to be paying attention to than a bunch of people with pork virus that can be treated with drugs that are readily available. Last time i heard, AIDS is still spreading, um people are starving everywhere, and the local/national job market sucks a big one. Situations that effect the masses . . . . .ugh not this swine crap. As long as they don't outlaw pork products, i'm cool with the swine flu, oh wait they're calling it "SI" - swine influenza. Ha! Someone called my office today wondering if they needed to be seen right away with the symptoms they were having. I was like "um excuse me, I uh am unfamiliar with 'SI' as a medical acronym sorry." I wanted to be like "you need to be seen because of Sports Illustrated, did the magazine make you sick?" I guess i'm dumber and prolly a bigger asshole thank i think. So trying not to laugh at sounding like I don't know anything and the absurdity of the entire situation, i had to reassure the poor panicky lady, her slight cough, sore throat, and headache was not characteristic of 'SI.'

Wouldn't it be a motherfucker for me to acquire swine influenza, i'd totally deserve it for being a cynical jerk this time around. I teeter between believing and non-believing in Karma. I already had the real flu this year, and a cracked rib, so i think me and the Karma police are on pretty good terms. Only time will tell. . . .

Vals chocolate stash? looks like.......

ok i must admit i don't even remember taking this picture but i do remember how awful my latenite emac & bolio chocolate covered twinkie was. It sounded amazing, but it sucked, didn't even quench drunken hunger. Anyhoo I think i somehow timed a crum falling off the twinkie perfectly while trying to get a profile pic of the giant twinkie eating Val's face. Damn iphone and my lost idea, ah well Val looks like hitler and i think that's insane

slippy slippy slide: a poem

My saturday night (a poem)

Bored
Go to party
bored again
see unoccupied homemade danger slip-n-slide
take off shirt i like, socks & shoes
run and flop on my belly
slide 5 feet and stop
laugh
heave myself towards ramp
slide 3 feet
laugh
covered in dish soap
laugh
drive home
get itchy hives from lemon dishsoap
benadryl coma

Allston Rock City: Homecoming

I'm totally gonna be late for work today . . . . but i really needed to say that i had a fucking amazingly awesome night last night in my favorite dirty Boston neighborhood and despite only getting 2 hours & change of sleep on a short couch (even short for me) being tired as shit, ears still ringing, i'm ecstatically wired and inspired and obviously psyched about people, music, possibility, AND impromptu adventures. And it's gonna be 70 degrees in CT today. . . . . .i'm welcoming spring with open arms and a shit-eating grin

bowling team tryouts/recruiting

we're starting a bowling team and currently accepting applications for team members and team sponsors. this is competitive social bowling, please consider your level of pseudo commitment and willingness to go bowling on a whim, we bowl when we feel it's necessary and do not have a set schedule. more details to follow. we only discriminate against people who bring their own bowling balls and shoes, and even then, we only make it an issue because we're stuck wearing a pair of shoes that have been worn by thousands of people and can potentially get pink eye at the drop of a hat. other than that, no crucial hard feelings to put a damper on an otherwise good time.

semi-serious inquiries only.

don't piss me off or you'll get baptized!

My first bike ride-THANKS BILLY!!

Somehow it came up in conversation today that I never had a ride on a motorcycle. I don't know anyone with a Harley that would let me ride on the back, I hate crotch-rocket street bikes, and I guess i'm rarely in situations with motorcycles. Um i guess they're a little scary sometimes?

I spent my day with Kristen at a lovely, sunny, dirty & dusty motocross track for her celeb boyfriend Billy Ainsworth's races. Seconds before Billy had to line up for his last race he offered to take me around the grounds for a spin. . . . .when opportunity knocks . . . .I squeal with excitement!!!! This is me squeeeeeeeaaallling ecstatically:It was great engine revvin', throttle throttlin'? dirt kickin' blood pumpin' goodness

YAY BILLY! THANKS FOR FULFILLING MY LATEST ADRENALINE RUSH FANTASY

i never had fun after the dentist

this is great, i love kids and i love parents who know how to have a good time with their kids. I swear if all this technology was readily available during the 80's, my parents would have had a field day messing with my sister and me. This is what i look most to about being a parent, passing down family tradition!

spanish lesson

This website of old pictures with cheeky captions entertained me in the wee hours the other night when i didn't feel sleepy enough for bed . . . . i decided to view the entire catalog, which caused some pretty crazy eyestrain and laughing to the point of tears. The best one I found was the "spanish lesson" which totally reminded me of Jr. High spanish class, my hometown, and my homegirl Larkin. I used to hate getting in trouble so frequently for laughing, it was unavoidable really.....the luxury of choosing your own spanish name, learning all sorts of new words that just sounded cool, and the occasional past tense verb that sounds like slang term for vagina. That poner, always made me laugh. And then there's those words you already know and so you try to use them intellectually, and then find out that it really isn't a swear, in fact it's an animal.




I remember one day the Señora whoever was trying to explain fluctuation of international currency rates but instead of saying "fluctuate", she pronunced "fuck-shoe-ate." You never forget that kinda stuff, from that day on i understood the international market.